Hilarious.

Immy. London.

Vegan. Wiccan.

officialcrow:

cowbellguy:

Hand jobs and blow jobs are called jobs because they’re tedious and dicks are gross. Going down on a girl is called eating out because it’s a privilege.

dude youre gonna get so laid

(via black-teaaa)

forsciencejohn:

when I say “I wish they would turn this book into a movie” what I really mean is “I wish they would turn this book into a 17-hour-long spectacle that includes every single solitary detail and doesn’t deviate at all from the storyline and has perfect casting”

(via halfdeafness)

jerkidiot:

castielsteenwolf:

jerkidiot:

castielsteenwolf:

jerkidiot:

jerkidiot:

does anyone want to see a picture of me rubbing my cock

image

me and my beautiful cock

uhm excuse me what the fuck??? I’m known as cock girl around these parts i don’t want no man comin’ in here acting like he owns the placeimage

im literally called cock girl haven’t you seen my posts 

image

i got you beat sorry cock girl

ever heard the saying quality is better than quantity?

image

sorry babe but image

my cocks are very quality

(via hautenheavy)

Joke of the day.

wanderoar:

roseonabeach:

frostedsammy:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”

what

Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this

stupidest/most awesome joke ever

(Source: flyingscotsman, via halfdeafness)